Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
