I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
