Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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