I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
