Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
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