Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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