somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
