is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can't put those talents on a resume
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
