There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
