I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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