If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
