Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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