New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
