Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
