you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
