i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
