he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
