Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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