it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
