Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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