Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize