I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
