this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
