so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
