When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
