i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
