you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sobbing to NWA
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
