Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
