I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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