Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
