ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
