Its about making memories worth repressing
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
