the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
