I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
