Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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