Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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