Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
