Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
