Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
