one might say we're banned from that church
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
