so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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