You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
dude. I can hear the air.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
