So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
