I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
