I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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