Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need to calm my uterus...
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