I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
