So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize