Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
