How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you had me at cake vodka
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
