If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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